Not actually talking about bodies here guys, while maybe eventually I’ll find myself writing a body acceptance post, this is definitely more in reference to the Tove Lo song and it’s subject.
That teeny, tiny three letter word, formerly a taboo subject, now increasingly popular, views on sex have changed so tremendously. At the very least, the openness to discuss the subject have changed tremendously. We’re inundated with the increasingly casual view of sex on a daily basis via every single entertainment outlet. I think discussing sex more openly is great, but I have other concerns.
I recently read something on Tumblr from one of my very favorite humans, Steak Anderson of steaktooth.com and the clothing brand Teenage, in which she said that the majority of guys she knew had probably had sex with 16+ people and continued by saying that it’s because sex is a freedom and not held in the same shameful light that it used to be, like I already said.
Steak is insightful af and as I’ve already mentioned, one of my favorite humans, so I almost feel shady using something she said and then talking about it negatively. Make it known, I’m not disagreeing with anything she’s saying, and I love her in a very celebrity crush sort of way.
The post got to me though. Sixteen or more sexual partners. As the norm. And then I found myself trapped in a caffeine fueled Tumblr time hole reading through comments and other posts leaving me feeling really inferior. I struggle a lot as it is with feeling severely inexperienced in intimate relationships, and I’ve always known that people treated sex much more casually now than like when our parents were growing up, but I didn’t realize to what extent feelings had been taken out of the whole equation.
So I guess I’m just writing this to let you know there are people out there who still think sex is an emotional thing, a serious, bonding act. I’m not imposing my religious views into this at all. I’m speaking as nothing more than the hopeless romantic who is cripplingly cautious with her heart. Maybe for some people, all the feeling really can be taken out of sex, maybe it can’t. I mean, isn’t their scientific reasoning that says otherwise, like stuff about hormones and chemicals in your brain? Still, I don’t know; I can’t speak for all others across the board.
I can however speak out for myself. According to Tumblr, and most of society, I am now the minority in thinking that sex means something, but I still think it does. I don’t want anyone to see the way the subject of sex is approached in movies, tv, or social media platforms and think that’s how they have to approach the subject as well. It can be as casual as you chose to make it; but, if you’re like me, it can also be a real, emotional thing. If that’s how you feel, don’t compromise those feelings because society, or any guy, says otherwise.
You’re allowed to be in the minority, but I’m saying all this to let you know you’re not alone in that minority. Maybe by speaking up, we’ll find this minority isn’t so minor after all.
Let’s hear what you guys have to say. What are your thoughts on the casual reputation that sex now has? Is 16 or more partners normal in your opinion or not so much? Tell me what you’re thinking in the comments below.