how to talk to hipsters

Starting conversations is hard. Social anxiety is real, even for an extrovert like myself. But in the quiet solitude of my own room, suddenly I think of a million things to say. So here, I’m sharing all the best conversation starters should you find yourself tongue tied, intimidated, and in a room of hipsters.

Hipsters Drinking Coffee

Can you believe she’s wearing a new sweater? I can’t remember the last time I bought something not previously worn.

Don’t you just hate it when you hear your favorite band is becoming popular? *very obvious eyeroll*

My Chemex is a six-cup, what’s yours?

Records

What instrument do you think I should take up next? The glockenspiel or the accordion?

I’ve been wearing Birkenstocks forever because I have flat feet and need the support for my nonexistant arches.

Don’t you just love Portland?

Hipsters Hanging

Don’t you just love Seattle?

Who’s Taylor Swift anyway? Eww.

Wanna go to Whole Foods later?

Have you seen the lineup for Coachella?

Coachella Fashion

Don’t you just hate how mainstream Coachella has gotten?

Remember the good ole days of Freaks and Geeks? Before everyone knew James Franco and Seth Rogen were geniuses. *heavy sigh of exasperation*

So how many years have you been to Burning Man?

I used to only use a Polaroid cameras, but now that Taylor Swift is using one, I’ve decided to no longer take photos. Instead I commit everything to memory and then sketch it at the end of the night.

Bow tie Hipster

I’m reading Sylvia Plath and drinking hibiscus tea tonight, wanna come over?

We’re going to this microbrewery on the edge of town tonight, wanna join?

I’m gonna play all of The Decemberists albums backwards on my Crosley to see if there are any subliminal messages, wanna come over?

We’re gonna protest protesting protests in the student union today, you should join.

Hipster Couple

I spent four hours getting ready this morning. Three and half were just to make this 2.4 ounces of coffee though. It’s a long process, but it’s worth it.

Have you met Alex? He’s a Republican.

I accidentally bought a skirt from J. Crew yesterday. I’d return it, but I don’t want anyone to see me in J. Crew.

Hipsters in a Field

I only read books printed before 1960, or books printed on recycled paper.

So we’re getting brunch tomorrow right?

What are your thoughts on Lena Dunham?

All of my jewelry used to belong to my dead grandmother.

Is that organic?

Hope you all enjoyed my little hipster joke. Let me hear any thoughts you have I’m the comments below. 

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