four friendship letters: what i’ve learned

Friendship is a funny thing. Sometimes you don’t know what you have at all. Sometimes you expect more than you get, and sometimes you expect nothing at all and end up with the most wonderful people in your life. But the thing about friendship is, you never know which bonds are which until you’re in the heart of it.

You come across the kid on the slide the first day of kindergarten and you hit it off, you assume you’ll be friends forever, but time takes it’s toll and your friendship is a thing of the past. Or the very opposite happens. You see a goofy kid on the other side of the basketball court and think there’s no way you’d ever get along, and you end up laughing together even when you’re eighty. Either way, the bonds you make, and sometimes break, are worth it because of all that you learn along the way.

Friendship

I’m incredibly terrible at saying things out loud, so there are a lot of friends, and friends past, that never got to hear a lot of what I had to say to them. Below you’ll find four letters to the friends who deserve to hear my thoughts the most in hopes that by reading them, you will learn the things that I learned a little more easily.

THE FRIENDS WHO WEREN’T FRIENDS AFTER ALL

Dear Person(s) Whom I Shared Some Great Memories With,

You suck. We’ve been around the block together enough times that you know I’m not the type to beat around the bush, so I’m just gonna get right to it. You really suck at being a good friend and I resent you a lot now. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t care, but I truly believed we’d be friends forever despite anything time and distance could throw at us. My bad, I was wrong.

When I show up at your place broken and crying, it is not okay to send me on my way and never check on me ever again. When I make it very clear that I am struggling on a day to day basis and that I need you, it is not okay to quit on me. I understand that you are busy and you have your own lives, but I would have never quit on you. I’m sorry if you thought otherwise.

Your terrible excuse for friendship has taught me how to be a better friend though, and for that I am thankful. Your constant excuses to cancel our weekly hangouts and your inability to follow through with my many invitations for coffee or lunch wore thin, they hurt me, but more than that they reminded me to be even more grateful for and appreciative of the people I did get to spend time with.

You taught me that a friendship out of convenience is very often not a true friendship at all, and that is a lesson that I will take with me forever. I will be more careful of who I trust and who I love because of you.

Good luck in life. I’m washing my hands of you.

Bye.

THE FRIEND I TOOK FOR GRANTED

Dear Person Whom I Hurt,

I suck. We were friends long enough for you to know that I’m not one to beat around the bush, so I’m just gonna get right to it. I really sucked back then, and I take full responsibility for how I ruined the incredible friendship we had.

Everyone around us wanted to have the type of friendship we had, and I couldn’t see it for how much it truly was worth. That’s on me. I was immature and dumb. We were young, and I know that’s a bogus excuse, but it’s all I’ve got. I cared too much about what other people thought, and I had no idea what I wanted.

I’m not that person anymore, and I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I could thank you for all the happiness and laughter you gave me. I didn’t thank you for them then, and you deserved that. You did not deserve my cruelty.

You taught me what to look for now. I compare every person to you because being your friend was one of the easiest, most natural things I’ve ever done. Nothing was forced. Thank you for seeing my worth when I could not see it myself and thank you for being my friend until I didn’t want to be your friend anymore.

You are truly a wonderful person. You deserve the best, and it makes me really  happy to think that you may have found it.

Good luck in your life. I’d love to be friends again someday.

Okay, bye now.

THE FRIENDS THAT COULD NEVER GET ENOUGH CREDIT

Dear Best Friend(s) of My Entire Life,

Hi, you are great. You are incredible, wonderful, and I do not deserve you in my life. I am forever thankful that you stick around anyway.

No matter how long I have known you, I know I can trust you with my life and you can do the same. No matter how long we go without seeing each other or without talking, I know that when we are together, we’ll be able to pick back up like we haven’t missed a beat. You are my soul mates, the people I want by my side forever.

When I came to you, completely broken, you were there to pick me up. You didn’t abandon me when things got messy; you’re still with me despite the fact that things aren’t always perfect. You accept me as I am, no matter what that means, and I can never fully express to you how much that means to me. You are irreplaceable in my heart.

You all have beautiful souls, wonderful hearts, and amazing thoughts. I can’t wait to see where life will take you, and I am so blessed to be privileged enough to cheer you on along the way. You are special blessings and my life is changed for the better because I know you.

You also know I am incredibly awkward, and therefore I have trouble ending letters and this sort of thing, and so you would expect nothing less than some strange, out of place expression instead of an appropriate ending. You get me.

Deuces.

THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE NOT MET

Dear Person Whom I Love With My Whole Heart,

Thank you in advance for being everything I could imagine, and so much more. Thank you in advance for loving me even when I do not love myself. Thank you for choosing me, your love and commitment is invaluable, there is no greater gift, nothing else I could ever want.

You are the most beautiful soul of all, and I am blessed every minute I get to spend with you. I can’t wait for a life of adventure, love, and laughter spent with you.

Thank you for accepting me as I am, and for allowing me to be more myself than I thought possible. Thank you for loving everything about me, even the things that you hate, even the things that I hate. Thank you for your patience, your honesty, and your trust. Thank you for letting me rest my heart in your hands without fear that it will be broken. Thank you for being you and being a better friend than I could ever be.

I am so thankful that you are taking your time to get to the part of being my best friend. I am thankful that right now you’re learning how to be my best friend, in the same way that I am taking all the things these other friendships have taught me, so that I can be your best friend in return.

I am so thankful for you and I look forward to loving you endlessly all the days of our lives, and I am thankful that you will think that’s disgustingly lame and cheesy, but will love it anyway.

I am also thankful that you too understand my inability to appropriately end a letter.

Peace Out Homie.

What do you guys think? Do you have things you wish you could say or had said to friends in your life? Do you think I should actually address these people rather than simply write my thoughts in a blog? Let me know whatever is on your mind in the comments below.

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